Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
