i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
