bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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