P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
