on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
