Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
