Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
