ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
