Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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