He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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