I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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