I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
