Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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