Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
