he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize