What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
