saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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