he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize