And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The Olympian is in my bed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
