remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
