I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
even my farts smell like vagina
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
