where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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