also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
