I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am available for nakedness
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
