we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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