Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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