Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
