the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Let's get the cat blown out
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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