I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
