Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
