Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
