before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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