Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
