guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
