I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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