Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
