Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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