i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
