Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
