I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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