Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
