I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
