Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
