Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
