Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
