i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
