I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
