I wanna passion pit in your ass
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
