Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
