how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Vodka?
Forever.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
