so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Pooping to opera.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
