either way he was missing a nipple.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
