Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
