why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
