Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
