i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
