is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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