I looked at my own cervix.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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