mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so that wasnt chicken after all
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
