but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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