Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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